Thursday, July 26, 2007

How to be a Black hipster or just a hipster in general...

You too can be cooler than all of your friends... just follow my handy dandy guide to 'hipsterdom'.

The New York Times came up with the word 'blipster', which is what they called a Black hipster, and apparently they're on the rise. And even though this might be a little late, I still think it could be of some help to you guys.

So without further ado...

1. One of the most important parts of being a hipster is the hair. Your hair is one of the first things people notice about you, so to be a Black hipster, you've gotta do something different with yours. The mohawk is one way to go, but its a little played now as even Diddy had one. Some other ways to go would be dyeing it a random color (especially good for girls) shaving various parts and leaving other parts unshaved or anything asymmetrical (also good for girls). Mixing various styles (like Kele from Bloc Party above)is good too. This all shows that you don't really care what others think, and that you're above the norm, which is really important in being a hipster.

2. Clothing is another big aspect of being a hipster. One of the defining characteristics of being hip is skinny jeans. The skinnier and tighter the better. I would recommend the Levis shrink-to-fit raw denim jeans as you can tailor those to your needs. The best way to go about getting your jeans skinny would be to sit in a tub of hot water with them on... then you can ensure that you'll never be able to have kids again. (If your closest girl friend can fit in them easily, then they aren't tight enough... so try again.)

You will also need to find things from your childhood fads that didn't make it, i.e. Starter caps, flannel, etc. Basically anything you can play off as being ironic is key. And don't forget those accessories. You'll need some black rimmed glasses a la Malcolm X or Drew Carey,
and for girls, mismatched earrings are a must. Even a big chain or a multi fingered ring. One of those head covers that you usually only see Arabs wearing in the desert is also a plus, except wear it like you're a bandit. That's big.

What about your feet you ask? Well I've got you covered there too.
I would recommend some Vans or Chucks. But you can't wear them all fresh and clean... throw them around in the dirt a little or buy the ones that look really used, but are really expensive.

The most important thing with clothing is that whatever you do... Don't MATCH! I cannot stress this enough. You will be mocked and scoffed if you do.

3. Music is another way to define yourself as a hipster. Basically all you wanna do is listen to any 'alternative' or 'underground' rock and/or rap that you can find. Preferably anything your non hipster friends don't know. And the more 'emo' it is, the better. (If you don't know what emo is, just look for the guys with the asymmetrical hair cuts and black eye liner.) Also, liking the Ramones (or acting like you do) is a huge plus.

4. This step is not quite necessary, but if you want the image to be complete I would recommend it. Buy a skateboard. You don't have to know how to skate (it would help however), but you've got to look like you could. (If your jeans are tight enough, it will probably be hard to skate well anyway.) This shows that you're in touch with your alternative side and that you're a rebel and different... so what if every 13 year old skates now.

5. Lastly, and this is probably the most important step. You must develop an attitude that shows that you don't care about much, and that you're too cool to be bothered with anything that isn't about being cool or different. But you have to do this while acting like you aren't doing it. (Often looking into the distance is a good way to do it) Sorta Like these guys:




Well thats basically it, I hope that this helped and I wish you all the best of luck in your future hip endeavors.

And because I'm so hip... I don't actually care if you liked this or not.


(Australia recap and stories coming soon)

10 comments:

REGINA said...

wow! that was a great and humorous interpretation of a black hipster!i think i might be one, but not on every level lol (skateboard, don't know how to skate? not me)

Anonymous said...

i find it all rather offensive.

Lyric said...

LOL This is so fucking funny, according to your description I'm a hipster I feel so gay (no not happy just wack) I thought i was just weird but they have a name for it now!!! damn(lol my capcha reads rap ho)

Nonni said...

Its really funny how people are like "wow i'm a hipster"...i mean most real hipsters dont actually admit to being a hipster and might get offended when called one...but yea the article was funny...

Lyric said...

LOL thats because label like hipster are kinda stupid especially since the moment someone shows some type of individuality people follow they get a name for it and suddenly as a shock to you your just one of the many rather than one of the few. I would never be offended though of course I would never use this to describe my self cause it just so happens this is the way i act the way i dress i did not start this to be in style or to be an individual so on some level i don't care if kid want to copy i know I'm an original. at least now people will say oh she's a hipster rather than ewww, that girl is weird so i can deal I mean its better than people asking stupid questions like "so are you kinda gothic, or emo or something cause you look hiphop but you kind punk rock" what the fuck!!!!! I'm me I listen to everything so why are you trying to put me under some kinda music genre classification lol
Wow who is actually going to sit here and read my paragraph I should just start a blog LOL :-)

Timothy Ellsworth said...

That was kind of POSER-ISH. Cool people don't have to be told how to be cool or labeled. And get a skateboard even if you can not skate. This is a comedy blog or our youth is just a joke.
Get well soon.

cam said...

this is so effing lame. who cares. its just a title anyway. i hate when people call me a hipster and its because of gay sites like this. who has to be told what how to act to be themselves. F this blog

Why should I care. said...

LOL, the last photo is J Davey!!! WOW.

Anonymous said...

Its funny that people are mad because otgers think theyre hipsters lol why would you care! Posers will be poser and yoe guys taking to so seriously is so ovious you are to lol dis is funny btw

Anonymous said...

This is all too cool but I just cant get offended if someone calls me a hipster. *Sigh* do I care too much?