Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Foxy vs. Paris...

Who's more gangster?

On first glance one would think that this question would be very easily answered. I mean Foxy has to be more "gangster" right? I mean she's from Brooklyn, beats up manicurists and raps about all sorts of gangster stuff. And Paris is heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune and doesn't quite exude gangsterdom.

When you look deeper into this however, recent events might change just who you think is more gangster.

In case you haven't heard, your girl Foxy got stomped out by a couple girls after getting dragged out of a car. Apparently, upon learning that her boyfriend was a pimp (how do you think she figured this out? you think he tried to put her on the stroll?), she broke up with him. He then called up some of his girls and they went to work on Foxy.

Now this is obviously not a good situation. However, what happened next makes me question Foxy's gangster. After getting her weave snatched out and her hearing aid taken, she filed a police report and went around with the cops to point out the chicks that did it. What? Is that gangster? All that tough talk on songs and then this?
I protect you like a vest do
I'm the lady with a 380 special right next to you
Glock poppin' out the stock
And it's two guns, two hun', get down
I tear this whole shit down
They ain't know the vault, pull bank jobs
I banged ya squaw when I aims this rod
Y'all niggas can't do a thing to this broad
My bullets hurt the same as y'alls
I've been taught by the best, extorted the rest
Wearin' a niggas shit, crossin' my chest
Life on the line, say prayers under my breath
But knew I'd be 'aight cuz right there to my left
("Bonnie and Clyde, Pt. 2")

I guess the 5'2, 125lb. girl that was beating her up didn't hear this song... womp.

I feel defrauded. I think I want my money back for buying 'Chyna Doll', beside the fact that it sucked, and Jay was writing tracks for her for a minute, if she doesn't "pop glocks"... then she's just been lying to me... hopefully no other rappers have done that.

Because that would hurt...

Oh yea... so after all is said and done, and the police reports are filed... she said it didn't happen... huh?

On the other hand, we have Paris. She just served her time in the pen, and I heard she was getting a tear drop tattoo like Weezy. Apparently, my sources tell me that she had the jail on lock.

("We run tings... Tings no run we!")

There's no snitching for Paris and besides that, she does all sorts of drugs, alcohol, has sex with everyone, drinks and drives, and only managed to serve 3 weeks in jail. And she does all of this with the paparazzi following her around and taking pictures of it all! If that's not gangster... I don't know what is. Thats seriously on some Scarface type mess...

I'm just sayin is all...

On a random note... If you "missed" the B.E.T. awards (good job by you), here's a pretty funny recap.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Just call this hip-hop thing a wrap...

To all of you that love hip-hop... just give it up. It's officially done. And I know I've said it before... but after seeing the following clip... the nail is in the coffin.

I present to you the Oregon State NCAA Champion baseball team... also known as the O State Ballaz (yes thats BALLAZ... don't forget the Z):

And in case you want more... here is the O State Ballaz website... with a full music video and everything.

There's nothing quite like a group of corny white folks rapping... I tell you what.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Little Brother - Good Clothes

The first single off the highly anticipated (by me at least) 'Getback'.

I'm bout to put my good clothes on and enjoy this weekend...

Btw... you all know you've wanted to tell someone you've seen with a little too much showing that she "Better go to Lane Bryant."

Some of yall need to step up your Little Brother game...

Thursday, June 21, 2007

A Bay Bay....

Alrighty... at some point enough is enough right? I don't want to be a music snob or anything, but is it me, or are rappers just getting dumber and dumber? (Some would call them trash)

What brings this on you might ask? Well I was randomly perusing one of the video networks and I happened to come across the MTV "Jam of the Week"... and interesting little diddy by the name of "A Bay Bay".

Now, some of my kids told my about this a couple months ago, and I could only stand to listen to about 10 seconds of it. If you've never heard it, it goes something like this:

"I walk into the club...A bay bay
something, something, something... A bay bay
blah, blah, blah... A bay baby.

As an English teacher, I automatically have problems with this, and as a lover of music, my problems increase many times over. I mean, can we provide basic grammar classes to these jokers? They don't have to speak the queens English, and I understand they're speaking colloquially and all, but can they at least spell the lyrics correctly?

That's really all I want... I won't even get into the repetitive simplicity of the song, or how all you need to be able to do is put random syllables together and combine them with your Casio keyboard these days to make a "hit". I just want people to be able to spell things correctly. Maybe then we could get kids to learn how to speak and read.

But maybe I should just be happy that he's trying to spell things phonetically... and hey, at least you can snap to it.

Now if you'll excuse me... I'll just be snapping my grinning ass to the local watering hole.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Messing with the same girl...

There's nothing like a quality R. Kelly track to really get the summer popping... and when you throw in the almost movie-like quality of some of his videos, you know you're in for a treat...

Anyway, here's the video for the hilarious Kells and Ursher track "Same Girl"

Oh yea... there's a twist at the end

And thats definitely a real R. Kelly mannequin thats made in Japan for all of you that wanna be trapped in the closet with him...

Monday, June 18, 2007

Not a bad start...

To what could be a great summer...

So I went to the "beach" this past weekend... Dewey Beach in Delaware to be exact, and although I didn't really touch the beach at all, in principle I was there. (I didn't really miss anything, I could see the sand from the roof of our hotel.) If you've never heard of Dewey Beach, just picture lots of drunk white folks in their late 30s to mid 40s wearing offensively corny t-shirts. (For example: I do all my own money shots) Quite the spectacle indeed. When you accompany this with a little slap fighting, a game of Asshole, and a former NFL cheerleader... you're in for some quality times.

However I was a bit disappointed by the showing of the older folks I went with. I guess the married 30 somethings just can't hang like they used to... at the least the guys couldn't... The wives were definitely bout it... but thats another story. But the young folks held it down.

The highlight of the weekend and the inspiration for this blog and the accompanying picture would have to be one of the guys that I shared the room with. This guy failed to inform us that when he sleeps, he sometimes has a tendency to SCREAM.

I kid you not my friends... this dude definitely SCREAMED into his pillow on more than on occasion. Apparently I slept through the first time, and was quite hesitant to believe that this mild-mannered man could do that. And even when I heard it, I almost didn't believe it. It was like a bad horror movie. I half expected him to wake up and kill us. You haven't lived until you've heard a grown man half scream, half moan into his pillow whilst sleeping.

The funny thing about this all is that he actually told us after the first time that he forgot to mention that sometimes (read: after drinking) he might scream a little...

Anyway... it was good times... and I made it home to watch a fantastic episode of Entourage...

Lastly, I think I've discovered my new show for the summer... Flight of the Conchords. (You can watch the first episode here) These dudes are hysterical. They're a real band from New Zealand (sort of like a folksy Tenacious D), and they've moved to NY... definitely check it out... comes on after Entourage and is one of the funniest shows I've seen in a while. (They also have quite the following)

Check out this clip if you're not convinced...

"And when you're on the street... depending on the street, I bet you're definitely in the top 3... good looking girls on the street..."

Thursday, June 14, 2007

With Fans Like These....

And that smile of course, There is no way Obama should lose...
Although, this is probably the exact reason that White folks like this young ladies parents won't vote for him...

ah well... at least we can enjoy this and hope for more

Sunday, June 10, 2007

We The Best!

So, I've been away for awhile again... I know... but I was finishing up the school year... and its done. So i'm back... for now at least..

Anyway, so I downloaded a mixtape hosted by DJ Khaled... and I swear, he might be the most obnoxious, narcissistic, idiotic, pseudo-DJ ever. He constantly shouts out his catch phrase "We the best!" so much that it almost makes you wonder if he even actually believes it.
I said this to someone else the other day, and they asked if he was worse than DJ Clue used to be... I would have to say yes. (What's Clue up to these days? I guess saying your name repeatedly doesn't keep you famous)

All of this is to ask, what's the point? What do these guys do? I mean, if you're producing, ok, fine. I might be able to understand that you'd want people to know you're producing, so maybe you'd say your name a little... maybe. But most of the DJs that put out big label albums aren't producing. And if they aren't producing, why should we care? Am I supposed to get excited cause Khaled knows a bunch of rappers? I mean... that doesn't impress me too much. He's honestly just a glorified hype man.

One could then make a bigger point saying how music today is definitely more concerned with celebrity than anything else. And people will like whatever you tell them to. But that's not really saying anything that anyone doesn't know...

Take a listen and tell me it's not annoying:

We the best!

P.S. Does it bother anyone else that Khaled says the loathed "N-Word" so much? Not that it should be said that much to begin with by anyone... but last I checked, he's definitely not Black...

And now... as a treat... the song of the summer... The album is going to be worth getting just because of this song.