Thursday, May 10, 2007

It's Official...

50 cent is a master magician and has pulled some David Copperfield, Houdini, David Blaine type ish. He went from being "hard-core" and just destroying anyone in his path, to becoming the very thing that he got everyone to rally against... Jah Rule. Its actually quite similar to the movie Highlander. (I used to love Duncan MacLeod... "There can be only one!") He beheaded Jah and assumed his "powers". What powers you ask? The dis-ability to make any song sound extremely homo-erotic. This is actually quite a feat, and should be considered extremely remarkable. The only drawback is that he has ceased to be relevant in hip-hop entirely.


You might be wondering what sparks this... 50's new single
On it, 50 not only manages to sing/talk the hook about how various parts of his body are roller coaster rides (because they go fast for a short period of time?) and that sex with him is like an amusement park... or something like that (its hard for me to listen), but he even makes a reference to the gawd awful 'Magic Stick'. It almost sounds like 'Magic Stick Redux' in a couple parts. It's as if, while hanging out with Floyd Mayweather Jr. someone was like... "50 you really need to get back to your 'Magic Stick' roots... that's when you were nasty." Either that or I guess 50 really wants us to know about his sexual prowess.... (that's not a pretty image)

The funny thing is that I can't even imagine 50 at an amusement park. And if he were there I think he would frighten all the kids away, or the park would implode...
The carnival will never be the same again.

So to recap... 50 cent is the new and improved hip-hop Highlander. Hold on to your domes...

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