Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Glue, anyone?

I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, but someone has to stand up and put an end to this madness. I can no longer sit by and watch as the world gets all sad and mourns a damn HORSE. Are we serious people? This is an animal that besides running is best known for being glue. Yes, tasty and delicious glue. (How great is that picture by the way? It's from Deadspin.... they do great things over there.) And I know that someone will say that this is cruel and Barbaro was inspiring and all that crap, and to that I say, "have you lost your ever-loving mind?"

People care more about this big bundle o' glue, than they did about James Brown and he only inspired a legion of musicians and sang for Apollo Creed. How does that make sense? I know James did a lot of drugs and women, but at least he could talk.

And writing messages/letters to horse? Who does that? Honestly, I'm really confused. It's just creepy actually. People act as if you don't like this horse, then you're on the Osama Bin Laden listserve or something:
So long as you continue your brave fight, this nation can rest assured that the terrorists didn't win. God Bless Barbaro, and God Bless the United States of America! Crusader; OK, USA.
Since when did a horse stand for America? Is this why the immigrants came here? Why people are dying at the borders? For a glimpse at the beauty that is Barbaro? Are they going to have his body for viewing in the Capitol? That would be something. Should they add this to the Statue of Liberty: "Give me your poor, your tired, your weak, and your horse lovers?" Now, I'm not against animals in general or horses in particular, but I must draw the line when people put animals above people. Especially when there are real things to worry about. Like when is DeBarge getting back together? And how much do you wanna bet that a large number of people who write to Barbaro don't...um... like people of um... color.


But if you had any doubt about how Barbaro would want us to feel... here's a letter he wrote (via a horse whisperer I'm sure)

(You think Barbaro was down with the swirl?)

Monday, January 15, 2007

Another Page from the Journal...

Of the greatest rapper out right now... the one, the only, Mr. Capo Status himself.... Jim Jones.

Dear Journal: I know it's been a while, but things have been crazy. I've been flyin high...(zing!) But no seriously, I took some PCP the other night, and flew to Cam'ron's house. That shit was craziness... it was on some Fear and Loathing type mess.. but anyway, did you know that I've got the number one ringtone and song out right now? I'm just glad that people are finally starting to see my talents as a lyricist and are realizing that I'm not just a pretty face with a hairy and chiseled body. This is just another sign that I'm by far the best rapper alive. I mean, if the pop charts and ring tones don't prove it, what does?


Oh yea Journal, I've decided to give back to my community... and no, I don't mean by selling coke. I'm sponsoring a poetry contest. DipPoetry like a mug...what son!?! This further proves how much I care about lyrics and why I try to put a positive message in each one of my songs. Just like the late great O.D.B., DipSet is for the kids.

As good as all this seems, not
everything has been cocaine filled oreos and milk though journal. I may have to kufi slap a fool or two... Some joker had the audacity to caricature me on his mixtape! Mr. Capo Status himself? Like I'm some common dude to be styled on? I mean don't get me wrong... my man Borat was baalllin... but I would never wear a lime green speedo. That color doesn't go with my eyes. Don't let me see cuz in the streets... there will be a misunderstanding. I did get him back though. Me and my peoples... we hid out, waited till he didn't suspect anything... and definitely.... hacked his myspace account... say word, son. You don't want to bring it with DipSet.


Sincerely Baalllin,
Jimmy

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The NAAMV

My brothers and sisters, now is the time. I could not sit by and idly watch things continue the way that they are. Now is when "a change is gonna come." NOW, is the time to make a difference! I implore you, I beseech you, I beg of you to join with me in the forming of the foremost organization for the improvement and advancement of the music video. The National Association for the Advancement of Music Videos (The NAAMV), will be the pre-eminent authority in helping to bring music videos to the level that they need to be.

Why the need for such an organization you ask? Because we've been had! We've been bamboozled! We've been led astray my peoples! Videos have become so rife with cliches and we have become oblivious to them. It's time to expect more. In this new year of 2007, we must purge ourselves of many of the things that have become staples of these things that purport to be music videos. Let's use the following video to point out some of the things that we need to be on the lookout for.

This video belongs to our good friend... Jim "I'll smack the holy living..." Jones



Please note that within the first ten seconds, we already have a number of video cliches. There are two car closeups including the double whammy of the girl and car (a favorite of the "rap stars"). We are also given the tape measure to further emphasize just how big everything is.

The next big cliche is the posse shot. This has been around for quite some time, and will probably never completely die. (Think Naughty By Nature, Tribe Called Quest, etc.) This shows how the 'artist', Jim Jones in this case, is so cool. Not only can he do his dance, but all of his friends can too. Don't get me wrong, the posse shot can be great. It can show how much fun your group is having, and that is fine. But when used incorrectly, like above, it is just another terrible cliche.

This is followed by one of the best cliches out there right now. The throwing of cash. If you didn't realize how rich they all were in the first 15 seconds of the video, you will now.

The rest of the video pretty much follows suit: cash, cars, scantily clad girls, and "jewels". It's a veritable plethora of hood-rich cliches, and its fantastic. The lifestyles of the rich and famous guy would be rolling in his grave... if he's dead.

We need to go back to when videos were actually about the songs that they went with. Get rid of the closeups of brand names and bring it back to enjoying your music. Who cares if your jeans have a pretty logo on the butt? (Didn't that used to only be a girl thing? Just saying is all... ) And all that ice-grilling and posturing only makes you look like you need a hug.

An example of a video that stays true to its lyrics... (This was the video of the summer in '96... scared a lot of people, and it even had a Reservoir Dog-esque posse shot)



We're at a crossroads my friends. Let's get back to the side of light. Will you join me?

The preceding message has been brought to you by The NAAMV and viewers like you.