Monday, October 30, 2006

The Adventures of Agent Zero...

Gilbert Arenas a.k.a. Agent Zero, probably my favorite Wizard/Bullet since Chris Webber, has had the quite the interesting life (abandoned by his mom, lived with his father in their car, etc.). Besides being one of the quirkiest athletes around these days, he just seems like a cool guy. But, in a recent Washington Post article, I learned that Gil essentially dodged his baby's mother (with the help of the Wizards) for fear of being served with a paternity suit on national television:

"Arenas was advised by his attorney to avoid being served a subpoena in the state at all costs, noting that he could suffer a severe personal loss of wealth because of California laws governing paternity and child support.

Arenas said Wizards owner Abe Pollin agreed. "Abe Pollin was like, 'This can't happen,'" Arenas said.

The team concocted a story: Arenas had the flu. "I called my teammates. They said: 'Don't worry. We're going to win this game. We'll meet you on the plane.' " Arenas watched on television in his hotel room as the Wizards beat the Kings without him. The team spent the night in Sacramento, but Arenas flew to Houston with at least two teammates, he said.

The Wizards did not deny the episode. When asked about it last week, the team issued a statement by Pollin. "We're proud of Gilbert as a player and as a person," he said. "He has overcome a great deal in his life, he has exceeded most people's expectations, and he has become an integral part of the Washington, D.C., community. Most importantly, Gilbert is a member of our family, just as everyone is that works for me."

What began as a lovers' spat morphed into a cross-country, cat-and-mouse game in which the Wizards' star hid in hotel rooms under aliases to avoid being served in person. The entire Wizards organization played its part to keep the matter out of the public eye."

This just seems a bit crazy to me... and its not that Gil was trying to avoid taking care of his kid, cause that wasn't the case. (He actually bought a house for his daughter and her mom in VA) I'm just amazed that the team did this for him. Although, I do understand that it would have been really bad press for the team, had they served him with papers at the free throw line of a game like they wanted to.
But still... I wonder how many teams do stuff like this for their players all the time. And what else do they do for their players? Hide bodies? Pay off dope men? Provide safe houses? I guess when you're the face of the organization, they'll do whatever it takes... I guess Shawn Kemp wasn't good enough to get the same treatment?

On another note...So everyone knows that Oprah gives out tons of ridiculous gifts to the people that happen to be lucky enough to make it to her audience. But her most recent big gift, kinda caught my attention a little. (Not that I watch the show or anything, being that I'm not a middle aged White woman and such) In what she is calling her most favorite giveaway ever, Oprah is giving away $1000 debit cards... Sounds good so far... but there's a catch: you can't keep the money!?!? The fans lucky enough to be on this particular show must donate the money to a charity (not family).

I have no problems donating money and I think it's an interesting idea, but if I'm getting a gift, I'd like to be able to keep it personally and do what I like with it. It just seems a bit odd to me. I guess it's another example of Oprah doing whatever it is she feels like doing. Oh yea, and in addition to the debit card, which they can't keep, they get a DVD player... cause you can't get one of those for free for signing up for a magazine subscription or anything.

This all sounds very similar to the Seinfeld episode... "A donation has been made in your name to the 'People Fund'."

And if you like the color beige... check out Oprah's site. Beige... the color of middle aged woman everywhere.

And lastly, just in case you needed it... another, extremely sad reason why "Chicken Noodle Soup" marks the end times of our society... Please note that the "artists" behind the "song" just signed a deal for $1.7 mil. They teach kids that cooning is cool, and all I do is teach kids English... just let that sink in...

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